It pains me to write these words, but silence is even less an option. I am ashamed to be American.

Today I should be writing a piece for Travel Medford about my experience in Cascade-Siskiyou National Monument. But here I am, sitting at my desk, and I can’t do it. Too much else needs to be said. My shame is too great.

I spend my life traveling the world, meeting people from everywhere. When asked where I am from, I find myself feebly looking at my feet. “California,” I mumble. “I didn’t vote for him.” This caveat must always be added because right now, to be American is to be anti-immigrant, anti-people of color, anti-environment, and anti-sensible rhetoric. The backwards ideas and hate that spew forth from our leaders represent us in the poorest light. I am ashamed to be American.

I am ashamed. I am ashamed that I have friends and family who are not, who find ways to justify what is happening, who are part of the problem. To so many people, humanity is a distant relic, the American dream relegated to the dusty shelves in the back of libraries full of knowledge nobody has the insight to glean. So many of my countrymen care only for themselves. I am ashamed that I cannot change their minds or their hearts.

I am ashamed. I am ashamed that so many of my fellow travel writers go on as if nothing is different, as if the only thing that matters is the number of clicks they get today. If we who have a platform fail to use it in the protection of human dignity, we have no right to that platform. But I seem to stand nearly alone, and I am ashamed.

I am ashamed. I am ashamed that I have had to tell people of color, friends I have made all over the world, not to visit the country I once loved for fear of what might happen to them. I cannot trust my fellow Americans with their lives or their spirits. To warn people against seeing the place I have always called home is a terrible thing, but it is a responsibility I bear. I am ashamed.

There was once a time I felt only pride at being American. We acted with civility; we tried to do the right thing. We failed at times, and called ourselves to account. We acknowledged our past mistakes, and attempted not to repeat them. We valued kindness, morality, and goodness. We encouraged the pursuit of knowledge in our efforts to better the world of which we were a part. Those days, it seems, are over.

Today we sew hatred. We allow fear to rule our actions, and run circles to justify racism, sexism, and angry vitriol of all kinds. We view knowledge and truth as “alternative facts” or “fake news,” and keep our eyes blissfully closed to the harm we are causing. America is not the result of Donald Trump. Donald Trump is the result of America.

I am ashamed to be American. This was once the greatest nation in the history of the world. That is true no longer. History will look back on us, on all of us, as a blight unless we make a conscious effort to change. We must speak up about our shame, about our anger at what we have become. We must remind those around us that today is not business as usual; today is a war for the survival of our souls. Today I am ashamed, but if we – the good people of what was once a good country – come together, tomorrow I might again be proud.

13 thoughts on “I Am Ashamed To Be American

  1. Jonathan. It takes alot of courage to write a strong post like you have and I congratulate you for that. As an Australian I view America with great concern and have lost the respect for the country built up over my lifetime. It saddens me that still so many find justification in the narrow mindedness, division and hatred that currently manifests itself. Keep speaking out and ensure collectively with good people you can right America’s current course. As Irish Parliamentarian said in the 1700s: “The only thing necessary for the triumph of evil is for good men to do nothing”

    1. Thank you for your words. Here is hoping that this country moves beyond the rhetoric now occupying it, and gets back to being a source of *mostly* goodness. Until then, I will keep speaking on this, and on all things. Travel has opened my eyes to so many things, good and bad.

    2. Hace u served in Theron military organizaciones otherwise Given anything for America. Formas tose things u take pride. R u proud of youtself. Why

      1. Hi Joel. No, I have not served in the military. But vets are not the only stakeholders in their nation

  2. Thank you for writing this. I travel the world full time and I found myself slipping into apologetic mode every time I am asked about what country I am from. With every passing day, it’s becoming more and more difficult (shall we just say impossible) to explain or justify what is going on in my home country.

    1. That’s why those of us with a platform need to use it to try to affect change. I write a lot about politics (US and other) here on TRT, but I’ve tended to keep my personal views a bit more silent. No longer.

  3. The best thing I do as a US citizen Jonathan while circling the globe is to be an ambassador of love, harmony, acceptance and open-ness. This shows people that some Americans are unlike our president and the fear-based followers he whips into a frenzy with fear-mongering. This is also why folks believe me and my wife are Canadian LOL.

  4. Thank you for this post. I am an American living in Germany.

    I found this while looking for ideas for a pavement art festival project in Germany themed: homeland. (German:Heimat) I found my feelings so well depicted in your words. I have translated it to German and will make it available to anyone interested.

    I hope to use my platform to show not only my shame but also to show my hope.

    1. I’m glad my words resonated with you. Please be sure to link your translation to my original article.

  5. You are voicing the truth and that takes courage. I would also advise women, the sick, people of color… the list goes on and on … to also avoid America. There is great sadness being an American even greater since my father served WWII and when he returned was mistreated.

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