Tell me if this sounds familiar to you. “I’m more tired after a vacation than when I work.” Or “I feel rushed trying to see everything.” What about “the logistics for this trip are crazy, and I don’t know how I’m going to do all the things I want to.” We’ve all said those things before, and it doesn’t seem to matter how much time we have for a trip. Whether it’s a week or a month, there just never seems to be enough time to see everything, to do everything, to squeeze everything in. And so we come back to our normal lives – in whatever form those take – and we feel even more tired than we did before we left. Sure, we have some amazing memories, but that recharge opportunity vanished.

When I was younger and less focused on my physical and mental health, that was me. I had a limited time to see a place on a trip, and by heaven I was going to make the most of it. I would see everything, no matter how tired it made me. I wouldn’t miss a thing, even if it made my vacation feel more like work than my 70+ hour a week job. I remember a day with my ex in Honolulu, Hawaii. We got up early to hike Diamond Head, ate sushi at a place we had wanted to try, went outrigger canoeing, had drinks, and then went to a luau, returning to our hotel around 11pm. In between we did some souvenir shopping and tried to enjoy the beach. After all, we only had a week, and this was the designated day to do all those things.

And it was an incredible day, full of wonderful memories. But, as I recall, it nearly killed us, and our early alarm the next morning to begin another jam packed day in paradise was a brutal reminder. And do you want to know something? Despite this crazy schedule, we still didn’t get to all the things on our list. We still felt like we missed out on even more experiences we could have had.

Fast forward to today, and my travel philosophy is completely different. I go to a destination with two lists: must-sees, and would-be-nices. And I try to keep the must-see count to those that I truly would not be complete without visiting. Consider a place like Barcelona. I would form my list as follows. The must-see portion would consist of Sagrada Familia and walking La Rambla (and Rambla de Catalunya, which turns into La Rambla, but has better architecture). That’s it. The would-be-nice list would be longer: more of Gaudi’s buildings (prioritized in whatever order I used), the Picasso Museum, and so on.

(I truly believe most places, even the most amazing destinations in the world, only have a few truly must-see things, and a TON of would-be-nice ones. It is just a matter of distilling which things absolutely have to be visited. It’s sort of like dating, when you think about it. People give huge lists of qualities they have to have. But most are not musts, when it comes down to it. Many women only want a man taller than they are, but if you ask if she found the guy who had all of the other things she was looking for, but was an inch shorter, would it be a deal breaker. If not, then it isn’t a must-have. Same with travel. If you had an amazing trip to Paris but didn’t go to the top of the Eiffel Tower, would you feel like the trip was a waste? If yes, it’s a must. If not, it would be nice.)

Ok, so now you have your lists ready to go. You have a duration you are spending in a given place, which is hopefully more than a single day. (If not, this is a bit less pertinent to you, as a single day is probably going to be busier universally.) The temptation is still to get as many of the would-be-nices in. And that’s where we tend to overdo it. Unless you have few interests, the odds are that there will already be more than you can see. But rather than despair at that, I choose to see it as freeing. If I can’t possibly see everything I want to, no matter what I do, then I can accept that I won’t, and not worry about leaving boxes unchecked. So if I can’t do everything anyway, why ruin my mental and physical health trying to, especially at the expense of the relaxation that a vacation is supposed to offer?

My ideal schedule involves half days, and while it is easier to do it this way when I have a month in Athens as opposed to two days in Malta, I attempt to stick to it regardless of place. Because even in a month, I didn’t see everything I wanted to in Athens; there is always more. Consider that Los Angeles has been my home for the overwhelming majority of my life and I’ve still not seen all the cool things here.

Part of the half day philosophy is out of need; both A and I have work that needs to be done, her running her business and me writing. And part is what we would choose even if we didn’t have those things. Rushing isn’t something that is enjoyable.

So what does this look like in practice? A good half day is waking up at a reasonable time. Coffee will be procured, and so the day begins. I will have a single thing as the focus for the morning. It might be a museum, or a garden, or any other item on my lists, beginning with the musts, and working down from there. And I will mark a couple other things that fit in with it geographically, in case I have some extra time and feel so inclined. But those will not be must-sees, and will be more relaxed in pace.

An example. One of my must-sees in London is the British Museum, which requires timed entry at this point in time. I’d book the earliest possible entry, giving myself the entire half day (or more) there, if needed. But if my visit ended up shorter than I’d expected, for any reason (I didn’t like it, didn’t like the crowds, saw everything I wanted to see there quickly, etc…), I’d have a couple other things in the area to work in, like Kings Cross St. Pancras Station (just a walk through for the architecture unless waiting in line for the Harry Potter stuff was a must-see) and the British Library treasures rooms. I’d probably mark a place for lunch in the area, and by early afternoon, I’d be in relaxation mode. That doesn’t mean necessarily heading back to my lodging; it can be having a beer at a pub, sitting in a cafe, or finding a beautiful park like Russel Square to sit in. But having that down time to relax, to slow down, and to reflect on my day and the things I experienced is so valuable.

And that’s the key to the art of the half day. The remainder of the time is spent both relaxing and reflecting, used to reinforce the experiences I have just had. Without that, a trip becomes a contest at how many things I can see in whatever period I have, and my chance to try to understand what makes a city like London unique is lost in a blur.

(Note: sometimes my half day begins later, with sleeping in, or moving a bit slower in the morning in favor of a later evening. That is rarer for me, though, as competing with afternoon crowds at those top attractions is hugely unpleasant.)

There isn’t a single best way to travel; it is purely subjective. If you enjoy moving quickly, seeing as much as possible in a shorter period, by all means continue to do so. But if you, like me, find that to be a source of stress and anxiety that limits your love of travel, you just might want to consider the art of the half day.