When I first started The Royal Tour, solo travel was something that scared me. What if I got somewhere and had nobody to talk to? What if it wasn’t safe? What if restaurants wouldn’t take a party of one? Worst, what if I was just bored without a companion?

Shortly into that first year, a flight deal to Mexico City came across my email. $100 or so round trip flights to a destination I’d always wanted to visit seemed awesome, so I spent a few hours calling friends to see who might want to come with me. Crickets. Well, not so much crickets as just a general lack of either interest or availability. Screw it, I thought. I’ll just go solo. That trip changed my life.

For the next few years, I did the overwhelming majority of my travel solo. New Zealand? Bring it on, and yes I’ll drive on the wrong side by myself. France for three months? I took French in high school, so I’ll make friends there. (Hat tip to TRT writer Mandy for being that friend.) Central America? I’ll be fine! So fine, in fact, that I went twice, covering four countries.

And then, in November 2019, I met A. I was smitten, and invited her to join me for two weeks of my 2020 Spain and Portugal trip. She was as good of a travel companion as I’d hoped, and after losing a year or more of travel to COVID, she has been my regular travel partner, making solo trips duets. (I do still have some solo stuff, but it’s more often small and local, or a time where we both need to be different places in Europe, or something like that. The major trips and plans largely include her.)

Friends and family have asked me if I miss solo travel. Others have wondered if it really makes any difference. So today I thought I’d take a bit of time and talk about some of the ups and downs of migrating from a travel life just spent with myself to one with a partner.

Planning a Trip

The differences begin even before the trip starts. Two people means two travel bucket lists. We came into this with each having been to some places the other hasn’t – and wants to. Furthermore, two people also means two sets of “home” commitments. Birthdays, family events and holidays, and seeing people more than once a year necessitate some compromise.

In 2019, my first “full time” travel year, I was never home in Los Angeles for more than a couple weeks at a time. I had three trips of over a month, and a number of shorter adventures both locally and abroad, adding up to just over seven travel months. I could plan all those around my own obligations, and would often leave the morning following a family event.

Last year, in 2024, A and I traveled just under six months, but some of that had to be balanced with obligations on her side. A mid-September 50th anniversary party meant coming back from Europe earlier than we otherwise would have, while a wedding in Germany meant making sure I had somewhere else to be since it was small and there wouldn’t be room for her to bring a date. We visited family and friends of hers around the world, in addition to my own.

Most importantly, A has a real, very full time, job as a consultant and professor. While she is mainly remote, some conferences or other events tie her to Los Angeles at a specific time. Others necessitate being somewhere else. We have to balance those things into our schedule.

Solo travel planning was incredibly freeing. Anywhere I wanted to go for as long as visas would allow could be arranged as long as it was within my budget. That could be planned fairly spontaneously. Today, our duet travel life means planning a year or so in advance, making sure we balance destinations we both want to see with obligations of two lives. We make it work.

Budget

At first glance, it would seem travel for two would be double the cost of travel for one. But it really isn’t. Yes, two airline tickets are twice the cost, but lodging is mainly a flat rate. But there are some differences.

For long trips as a solo traveler, I would largely use Airbnb, choosing a nice studio apartment. For two of us, and especially with A needing to work, life means having a door separating our spaces. One bedroom places are more comfortable for the two of us, and tend to run 20-40% more than an equivalent studio.

But there are some other costs that escalate with a second traveler. Being on my own, I rarely went out to a meal. Dining solo is not the most wonderful experience, so I limited that to times I was away from my flat all day, and mainly just for lunches. With A, we average one meal out per day, as a) it is a lot of fun and tasting new foods is one of the best parts of travel and b) the apartment can be a bit confining for two of us, so we need to make sure to get out more often. (We cook the other meals at home.)

Travel Routine

This is perhaps the biggest day to day difference. As a solo traveler, I set my own schedule. I saw what I wanted to see, slept when I wanted to sleep, etc… With a companion, there has to be more flexibility, and also more pre-planning.

A has a busy work life, and that doesn’t stop just because we are somewhere else in the world. She has meetings, mainly on a U.S. time zone, and deadlines. We can’t have dinner reservations in Athens when she has a meeting on Zoom on what would be a weekday morning back home. And sometimes things schedule last minute.

We keep a shared calendar file with things that are time-specific, both for her work and for things like pre-booked timed entry to a museum. And neither of us adds to it without making sure with the other.

So what does this mean for the day to day? It means some days are designated “work days,” where her schedule is busy and she needs to get 8-10 hours in. (On those days we make sure to go out to coffee or dinner or something just to get out of the flat.) I will either spend those days writing, or see a sight she wasn’t as interested in. We tend to average 2-3 full work days per week, with a few other partial days depending on time zones. (Click here to read about how we do half days of work and travel.)

Losing basically half of each week to staying in and working also means seeing less, thereby necessitating longer durations in destinations to get to things on our lists. It is rare that – outside of a day trip or a little weekend side trip – we spend less than two weeks in a single city and flat. Hence, we rarely feel rushed. And no, we still don’t see everything.

Post Travel

I’d be failing if I didn’t mention my favorite part of traveling duet: reminiscing. As much as I value the experiences I had – and continue to have – solo, there is something truly special about sitting on the sofa with my partner after a trip talking about our favorite parts. Or talking about our favorite trips. Or food. Or sunsets. Or. Or. Or. Those things make the feel of the trip stay with me to an extent it didn’t before.

Conclusion

I’d be lying if I said I didn’t love solo travel. I truly do, and it is one of the most empowering experiences I will ever have. But while there are challenges to my new duet travel life, increased costs and logistical balances, as long as A is excited to travel with me, I’m happier this way.