Editor’s note: I’ve been to Cambodia, a trip focused solely on the beauty that is Siem Reap and the Angkor complex. Our amazing Dutch writer Hedy took in the entire country, and with it the atrocities of the Khmer Rouge and one of the worst genocides of the modern era. Her story of the trip is one that mixes both sides of the experience, with her own raw emotion. I’m grateful to have that here. For more of Hedy’s writing, please click here to visit her index page.
Recently I made a trip, or rather a journey I should say, through Cambodia. Normally when visiting a place for the first time I do some research on what to see and do, and what the important parts of history are that shaped the place. This time was no different; I read some reviews of “must do’s and sees,” listened to some history podcasts about the Pol Pot regime, and browsed the travel itinerary. But unlike normal, I got completely overwhelmed with emotion during the trip. This was my first trip that made me angry. I am maybe slightly naive and always try to see the positive in people. But learning about the Pol Pot regime and all the atrocities committed, I became so angry and confused as to how this happened. And I still don’t fully understand how it was possible. But what touched me even more was how graceful the Cambodians are in dealing with the immense horrors they underwent and that are still present in their country.
I learned so much from my journey that I would like to share some of my experiences in Cambodia with you in this article, even though it is very difficult to put into words.
Cambodia is wedged between Thailand on the left (when viewing on a map) and Vietnam on the right and above it lies Laos. Though there is some influence from the other countries, I found Cambodia to be very different from its neighbours. Historically it was the heart of the Khmer Empire (9th to 15th century), and at the height it spread all over Southeast Asia. Even though the Empire is long gone, most people in Cambodia are still Khmer (ethnically) and Khmer is also the official language spoken. And the capitol of the Khmer Empire can still be visited, as it is the famous area of Angkor, with the Angkor Wat temple as one of the highligts.
From 1867 to 1953, Cambodia was part of the French colonies, and after gaining their independence it officially became a Kingdom (though during French times there was a king, it was just not a Kingdom by title). In 1970 there was a coup which turned the Kingdom into the Khmer Republic. Of course this is a very, very short version of what happened, but it is too long to put all the historical and political turns and twists into this article. In 1975, the Khmer communists (better known as the Khmer Rouge) overtook the Republic. During their three year rule, the Khmer Rouge almost halved the Cambodian population through murder, torture, and starvation. Babies and young children were murdered by slapping them against trees (sometimes in front of their parents), teens were separated from their family and brainwashed into ‘helping’ commit atrocities, and highly educated people and even just people with glasses (because if you wear glasses apparently you are an intellectual) were imprisoned and killed because the regime was of the conviction they posed a threat to them. The Cambodians were made to work in the rice fields for long days on little to no food, and religious institutions (mostly Buddhist temples) were destroyed. This horrible period ended in 1978 when the Vietnamese army invaded and conquered Cambodia and it lasted a few years until after negotiations the Kingdom was reinstated.
War and war crimes are from all times and happen all over the world but I hadn’t been to a country that had so recently and so heavily been affected and it really, intensely shocked me and made me so angry that people can do this to each other. And it is still happening today in so many places. It angers and saddens me that we apparently are unable as people to learn from our past and do better. At least that is what it feels like sometimes (and nowadays more and more often).
There are two places in Cambodia near Phnom Penh related to the Khmer Rouge time that explain and can give you a view of how horrible it was, even though it is hard to really know unless you’ve experienced it. The first is the S21 prison, one of the many prisons used to torture and kill people who were resisting the regime. The other one is Choeung Ek genocidal center, also known as one of the killing fields.
Our visit to the killing fields was intense. Our guide told his family’s story before we went there, which made it even more emotionally loaded. His little brother and sister suffered the same fate at one of the many (it was not just one) killing trees. His uncle, aunt, and grandparents were also killed during the Khmer Rouge regime, and his parents suffered from starvation. That personal connection gave the time spent in the killing fields so much more depth in emotion. It could happen to any family, even yours or mine.
Choeung Ek itself is a serene memorial park, and when walking around it doesn’t feel like this ever was one of the most bloody places in the world. There is a large stupa filled with bones of bodies found in the ground of the killing field. On many of them you can still see marks from the weapons or items used in the torture and killing. In the grounds surrounding the stupa there are still many more bodies and mass graves present. They stopped uncovering them because identification is nearly impossible and it is just too many. You can walk around the park and still see bones sticking out, so you do have to be mindful of where you step. The most intense place in Choeung Ek is the killing tree, where the young children were murdered. Nowadays it is decorated with colourful bracelets as a remembrance for the children, but I could hardly look at it. Thinking about it now it still makes me cry as to me it is the ultimate symbol of how incomprehensible and senseless this regime was.
The S21 prison, also now known as the Tuol Sleng Genocide Museum, is the other place to visit to learn more about the Khmer Rouge years. The museum is located in the old prison rooms, showing with pictures and sketches made by prisoners what happened at the detention center. S21 prison was instated to ‘interrogate’ captured people for information on other family members or plans for a coup against the Khmer Rouge. They have left some of the cells intact so you can take a look at them. There were different sizes going from dorm room size to tiny bathroom stall size. It was all with open windows so the screams of people being tortured could be heard everywhere to make prisoners fearful to escape. After giving enough confessions (mostly false) and information, prisoners were executed and buried outside the prison grounds and later in the killing fields. The visit to the museum was very insightful for me, as it really gives a honest overview of the Khmer Rouge period and what happened during and after. Very few high-ups in the regime, including Pol Pot, were brought to justice for what happened to their own people of Cambodia.
After seeing the memorials and hearing the facts that very few people were tried in the justice system after committing (or ordering) the most heinous war crimes, I was really flustered at how the Cambodians are not filled with rage and anger for the lack of justice. Luckily our local guide could help with that. He explained that they’ve forgiven the people as they were (mostly) victims as well. If you didn’t cooperate with the regime, they would kill you and/or your family. Also, Cambodia is a mostly Buddhist country and they believe in karma. So it is not up to them to judge the others. It is of no use to stay stuck in the past and want for revenge as karma will take care of that.
Are there only war-related sights in Cambodia? Absolutely not; on the contrary, there is more than enough to see and do that makes you happy you visit Cambodia. They have beautiful islands and nature areas and there is even a small grand canyon.
And of course Ankor Wat is a must visit. But be aware it is not just one temple. It is an entire complex, almost a city of temples in all sorts of shapes and sizes. We started the day very early to see the sun come up above the main temple. I would’t recommend it, unless you like to get up early, wait with loads of other people while being eaten alive by mosquitoes, and you really like photographing sunrises. If not, just skip that, and spend at least a day visiting (some of) the temples in the complex. We visited Angkor Wat itself, the Tomb Raider temple (Ta Promh) and Angkor Thom. Every site has its own character and architecture, so it is well worth it to visit multiple temples when in the area. I marveled at the walls completely filled with reliefs from floor to ceiling. The reliefs depict complete history lessons from the Khmer empire as well as Hindu and Buddhist stories and icons. I found it very impressive, given the fact that it’s 1000 years old and the amount of time and dedication put into it with just simple tools. To really get in depth I would recommend going with a guide, but it is not necessary if you just like to walk around and look at the beautifull sights.
The other thing I really enjoyed in Cambodia was the cultural shows. They come in all kinds of forms, like complete dinner shows or just in a small theatre. My personal favourite was the Phare circus in Siep Reap where the preshow was a children’s dance group showing traditional dances and costumes. The circus show itself was a fantastic way to show off the new generation of creative Cambodians. It was a genius way of storytelling without words (as it is an international public in the crowds) combined with dance, acts, and stunts. It gave me hope that even from the most awful histories, beautiful things can emerge.
Normally I also give tips on how to eat your way through a place, but with Cambodia I find that a bit difficult, as some places you visit will leave you without an appetite. However what I can recommend is to try dishes with the local Kampot pepper (green peppercorn). They are soft, not spicy, and very flavourful (almost citrusy).
Cambodia is certainly a place to visit, as it is very educational and gives new perspectives on life and people. It definitely burst my ‘always look on the bright side of life’ world view bubble, but I’m glad I went. As a vacation destination it is not the place to go, but if you’re willing to go on a journey (also within yourself) it is definitely a must visit; you will become a changed person for the better.
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